The last few weeks of 2013, tied for worst year of my life, went
by in a blaze of suckiness. Chemo was still a pain in the ass (although
certainly better than A/C), Jeff got pneumonia and my mother-in-law had the
stomach flu so I was on primary caretaker duty, the kids were going bananas
with all the Christmas craziness, and I was generally really glad to see the
end of it.
The beginning of 2014 has been a little
better and I've been trying to focus on the funny surprising stuff. Like
the fact that since I've lost all my nose hair, my nose doesn't work right and
when I have a cold (i.e. all winter) I get unexpected dripping at odd moments -
like mid-sentence in a conversation. Or like the strangeness of getting a
pre-nostalgic about the coming end of my chemo parties in six weeks - my weekly
chance to catch up with friends uninterrupted by kids or activities. Who
would have thought I'd miss it?
I feel a bit like a blind person reaching
out, starting to feel the edges of normal life approaching – they’re still a
bit undefined; after all I have a whole heap of radiation to do, and another 11
months of Herceptin, and 5-10 years of Tamoxifen, not to mention reconstruction
– but they’re there below my fingertips.
My wonderful in-laws are planning to leave in a couple weeks now that
they’ve been here 5 months, and we’ll have to figure out what life with just
our family looks like on the other side.
It’s scary and exciting and exhausting all at once. Here’s to a 2014 that brings joy and health
and satisfaction for all.
